My response to Jessica Gentry’s Facebook post about why she left teaching.

The article covering her post can be found at this link! https://www.someecards.com/news/news/ex-kindergarten-teacher-quit-viral/

People constantly ask me why I left teaching and if I miss it. I miss my KIDS so much that it hurts. I miss witnessing their quirks, their growth, and their endless potential on a daily basis. I miss seeing their eyes light up when they learned something new. I miss seeing them treat others with kindness because of lessons I taught them about the world. I miss feeling like I was the difference in their lives… the one who could help them see that they didn’t have to be a product of their circumstances or environment. I miss their hilarious comments. I miss having 30 small humans care so much about me that they threw a surprise Harry Potter birthday party for me in our classroom. I miss that my kids knew me so well that they could make my grocery list without error, remind me to put my Invisalign in, heat up my lunch to surprise me, mix my protein shakes with the exact amount of each ingredient, and ensure my water stayed full, all without being asked. I was constantly surrounded by the most amazing little people in the entire world.

But there was just so much more. Trying to teach them all the things they need to know about life; motivate them to love learning; find the best resources; create rigorous, engaging, differentiated lessons on hundreds of standards; analyze performance data; read and answer emails; make copies; actively participate in countless meetings and trainings; grade assignments; input grades; host parent conferences; stuff and send home folders; plan and manage extra-curriculars… I mean, the list NEVER. ENDS.

Add in pencils being thrown, keys being broken off the classroom computer, desks being flipped over, kids making fun of someone’s new shoes, kids making fun of someone’s old shoes, papers being ripped to shreds, supplies being broken, doors being slammed, refusal to listen or follow rules, refusal to try. It becomes overwhelming, and if a kid fails or misbehaves, whose fault is it? Certainly not the parent’s or the child’s, according to America.

Seeing kids coming to school starving. Kids coming to school dirty. Kids with roaches crawling out of their backpack. Lice crawling in their hair. Kids who were left alone all night. Kids who take care of all their siblings. Kids being ripped out of their homes. Kids not being ripped out of their homes. Kids with little aspirations because it’s all they’ve ever seen or known. It’s enough to keep you up all night, every night. And trust me, it did.

I worried about my kids all night and on every break. I worried about whether my teaching strategies were effective. I worried about what to teach and how to teach it. I worried about finding the best way to break down and teach each every standard to mastery when some kids were barely able to read on a kindergarten level. More importantly, I wondered whether my kids were being taken care of. Whether they were being raised to be good and compassionate human beings. I worried if they were being fed and bathed. I wondered if they felt safe. I worried if they were being held accountable for their actions. I worried it they were being appreciated and loved like they deserved.

Being a teacher was the greatest gift in the world, and I truly believe it’s who I am. But teaching opened my eyes to so many things wrong with the world. I stared into the eyes of a failing society every single day, heartbroken, overwhelmed, and unappreciated. I tried my absolute best to make a difference, and I hope to God I did for at least one kid, but I had to take a step back and repair myself before I could push any further into this journey.

I left my tenure, salary, insurance, and retirement because I was absolutely exhausted and burnt out after only 5 years. I left teaching because I had been putting my all into my school at the expense of myself and my family. I left teaching because nothing is worth your emotional or mental well-being.. especially when there are amazing kids out there that need you at your best. I left teaching to study human behavior and why we do what we do. I wanted to understand the science of human learning and behavior so that I can teach parents, teachers, and school systems how to do better for our world.. for our kids.

I don’t miss the endless stress, worry, task demands, and feelings of failure and helplessness that often came with being a teacher. I miss the little moments. The happy ones. The small victories. The impact you can make. But most importantly, I miss my kids.