I struggle. I struggle with belonging. I struggle with comparison. I struggle with an unhealthy need to be the best at everything I do, which constantly leads to failure because someone will always be better, smarter, more effective, more efficient, more patient, more everything. It’s impossible to give your all to everything you do. When I’m working, my mind is at home. When I’m at home, my mind is on work. When I’m at work, I’m sleepy. When I try to sleep, I have anxiety over work. I don’t know how to just find a sense of peace with myself and with the fact that I try hard at all things, and that’s enough, right? For me it isn’t. I don’t think I’ll ever be enough for myself, and that scares me. I never want to be complacent, but how do people feel confident and content with themselves? There’s always more I should be learning or doing, in my mind. I strive to get to a point where I have a healthy growth mindset. I have gone through periods in my life where I was comfortable in my own skin and confident in my ability to do my job. I was in that place when I started this blog. How have I now gotten to a place where I second-guess myself and have zero confidence? I keep coming to the answer being that I need to lean more on God and try to comprehend that I am wonderfully made by Him. Maybe if I remember that the judgment of others is unimportant and that the only thing that matters is His judgment, then I won’t be so insecure and terrified of what others may think. But I obviously know those things enough to type them out, so why can’t I grasp them? Instead, I continue to dislike the person I see in the mirror despite knowing she needs grace. Anyway, if you feel this way, you are not alone. I have no guidance to offer you at this time, only solidarity. 🩵