I randomly found this on my Google Drive account from a couple of years ago.

It isn’t edited or revised, because I don’t care about whether the grammar or syntax are perfect. The content is what matters. I thought someone may need to read this today. ❤️

I had a student in my class whom I will refer to as “Kaley.”

Kaley was born addicted to drugs because her mom, being an addict, couldn’t stop when she found out she was pregnant. Kaley was immediately taken into foster care from the hospital and was passed back and forth from the custody of State to her mother to various family members until it was officially determined that her mom was not exhibiting a pattern of improvement. Kaley has numerous health issues stemming from the substances her mom ingested during the pregnancy. She has seen more and been through more than most of us could even wrap our brains around. Kaley lives with her Grandma who has numerous health issues and requires regular assistance, which Kaley has to provide. Her dad sporadically pops back into her life whenever he isn’t in jail or with a new girlfriend. Kaley has caught him doing drugs and has been told not on various occasions not to tell anyone he was staying with her due to the number of warrants out for his arrest. Her dad will randomly bring her shoes that are way too small, fake necklaces that he claims are real gold, and other miscellaneous prizes that have almost certainly been the result of some sketchy transaction. I respect that he attempts to give her presents, though, and she wears that tarnished “gold” necklace with pride every day.
This is the story of only one student. I could probably attribute an entire blog to the devastating circumstances surrounding so many of my beloved babies and hers isn’t even close to the worst of it. I chose to tell you the story of Kaley today because she stands for so much with which we all find ourselves struggling. I hope to share with you some valuable lessons that this feisty little girl taught me.

Lesson 1: Know who you are & OWN it.

Kaley often shows up to school still in her pajamas or in yesterday’s outfit. She is likely to be seen wearing a flannel shirt, athletic shorts, and wedges on any given day. She has actually been asked to change for dress code violations on several occasions because this child will literally just wear anything.

Most of us can agree that kids can be MEAN. They are possibly even meaner now than when we were growing up because we as a society continue finding new things over which to pick people apart. In school, I’ve found that kids typically start with the clothes for ammunition. With that being said, can you even imagine the comments made toward a little girl wearing heels with her sweatpants…? Toward the beginning of the school year, I heard a few kids on the playground snicker and ask Kaley what she is wearing and why. I will admit, I am quick to interject if I think someone is being unkind (it’s my #1 trigger), but before I could even intervene, I heard Haley say: “Because it’s my style and I like it.” She said it with such a nonchalant lack of concern for their opinions that the kids didn’t know what to say next and I just stood there in awe of her. She literally couldn’t care less. All year, she continued to show up in clothing which she deemed “Kaley style.” She would laugh with me about her wardrobe choices and would say with a smile and shrug that she just liked what she liked. I constantly commended her for not being afraid to stand out and be who she was. When she would show up in her PJ’s, she would explain that either A.) she felt like being comfortable or B.) she overslept and had to catch the bus. Just the fact that neither explanation was given with any sort of shame made me shake my head in wonder. The fact of the matter was that Kaley had a limited wardrobe. She didn’t have many clothes and the ones she did have were dingy hand-me-downs. But she didn’t care. She would laugh at the fact that she couldn’t tell you where a random, oversized T-shirt came from– I just found it, she would say with a laugh. Why can’t we all be like that? Why can’t we stop making excuses for who we are… trying to conform to others’ expectations… being ashamed of ourselves or circumstances out of our control…? So many kids were drawn to Kaley because of her outlook on life. She was accepted (granted, she couldn’t care less whether she was or not) because she accepted herself. “Bullies” rarely stood a chance against her because she openly OWNED any imperfections they could try to pick at. Plus, people are intimidated by those who are confident and don’t have a care in the world about what others think. I challenge you to be more like Kaley. Stop trying so hard to please others. Different is not inadequate. We are all SO different; embrace those that make you YOU. Be who you are and OWN it.

Lesson 2: You do not have to be a product of your environment.

Some of the BEST students I had were kids who came to me from broken, dysfunctional homes. Kaley knew exactly what drugs were. She had seen them all her life. She knew what breaking the rules was because it was a common habit for her family members. She knew what taking advantage of the system was and exactly how to go about doing it. She knew violence. She knew theft. She knew heartache. She knew selfishness. It would’ve been no surprise if she rarely came to school, got in trouble often, rarely did her homework, or had no respect for her authority. If she was raised around this, then why would she not behave accordingly? Because you do not have to be a product of your environment. Kids know right and wrong from a young age. It is in our DNA. Our behavior is comprised of both our environment and our genes. Why, then, would she be so good if both of those things were at work against her? Because you do. not. have. to. be. a. product. of. your. environment. You can choose a different path. You can choose to rise above her circumstances. You may have to work harder than the person next to you. You may have to persevere through more obstacles. You may be knocked down more times. But you CAN be different. You CAN be your own person. Your past does not have to define your present.

Lesson 3: Be Resourceful & Be Willing to Make Unfair Sacrifices.

I can’t tell you how many times Kaley would borrow a neighbor’s phone to call me for homework help. She would send me pictures of her math homework (although I didn’t even teach math at the time) via Remind101 so that I could send her directions or explain how to do something. She didn’t have homework help at home. She didn’t have the means to even contact me. So what excuse do we have for not accomplishing our tasks at hand?

I never made it mandatory to type a writing piece because I knew most kids didn’t have access to a computer at home. I would always give my kids time in class to type their pieces if necessary. Kaley was sick during the two days that I checked out the Chromebook cart, so she didn’t get to type her piece. Not having access to a computer at home, she stayed inside during her recess so that she could catch up and get it done. Kids who had access to computers at home were playing outside and having fun while Kaley was hard at work, typing. She did not make an excuse about not having a computer; she made a sacrifice to do what she needed to do. Some of us have to make more sacrifices. Some of us have to work harder for the things we want. It. Sucks. We are not all dealt the same cards, but we are all capable of extraordinary things if we take action and do what we have to do to reach our full potential.

Lesson 4: Do the right thing.. even if it’s the hardest thing.

Kaley was the one who turned her mom in for drugs one time. She and her brother were left to play at a park all day long by themselves while her mom was in the car with a stranger. At first, Kaley ecstatic! She loved the park and was having a blast. But as the hours went on and her mom would shew her away from the car to keep playing, she knew something wasn’t quite right. A few more details came about and Kaley knew what was going on… again. As mentioned before, it wasn’t anything new to Kaley. Kaley adored her mom. But she knew that what she was doing was not only illegal, but it was dangerous. Kaley decided to tell someone at school. When Kaley’s brother had bruises after a visit from her dad, she told someone at school. Can you imagine how difficult it was for her to “snitch” or “rat” on her own parents? Please do not think for one second that she did it out of anger or resentment or indifference toward them. No, this child did it out of love and out of fear for her and her brother’s lives… and for her parents’. I cannot imagine being that brave or strong before I ever even lost my first tooth. Sometimes, we are torn between hurting someone we love or doing what is right. Sometimes we are afraid of change, so we continue on a path that we know isn’t right for us. Sometimes, we are afraid of the consequences of speaking out or standing up for what is right. I encourage you to be brave like this little girl. Do the right thing even when it is hard.

I learned so so much from my students. I am so grateful for the way they changed my life.

Let’s all try our best to be good humans and work for what we want.